Dee Hsu is opening up about the deep grief and guilt she’s been carrying since the loss of her sister, Barbie Hsu.
The Taiwanese TV personality, who recently returned as the main host of the variety show Dee’s Talk, spoke candidly about her emotional state for the first time since her sister’s passing.
“There was a time when all I wanted to do was sleep,” Hsu shared. “The only reason I’d wake up was to use the bathroom. If I could, I would’ve just kept sleeping. I didn’t want to face the world.”
Through tears, she also revealed a detail that continues to weigh heavily on her. “I was the one who first suggested the trip to Japan,” she said, referring to the hot springs getaway the sisters took. Despite initial hesitation from their mother due to high holiday travel costs, the two ultimately convinced her and went ahead with the trip.
“Every time I think of my sister, I can’t help but wonder… if we had listened to our mom and not gone, would this have happened?” she said, her voice breaking. “My mom told me I should never think that way, but I still feel that regret and pain. It’s really hard.”
Hsu said she tried to cope by immersing herself in dramas and keeping busy. “I threw myself into stories and made sure I always had something to do, just to slowly get through that time,” she explained.
Ultimately, it was her children who helped her begin to pull herself back together. “I couldn’t keep living like a zombie at home,” she said. “One night I ended up drinking more than I planned and blacked out. I didn’t even realize I had been lying on the floor, but my third daughter told me, ‘Mom, you were really scary yesterday.’”
Hearing that, she said, was a turning point. “I realized I couldn’t be like this in front of my kids. I have to be a normal mom,” she added. “So I’ve been trying to hold myself together more.”
As she returns to the spotlight, Dee Hsu is navigating both grief and healing—one day at a time.
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