T.O.P, a former member of BIGBANG, opened up about his controversial return to acting in Squid Game Season 2 and his personal struggles during and after his fallout from BIGBANG in an interview on January 15th.
“I thought about this for a long time,” he said. “After careful consideration, I decided this was the right time to speak.”
T.O.P’s career faced a major setback in 2017 when he was convicted of marijuana use. He received a 10-month prison sentence with a probation period for two years. At the time, he was serving alternative military service as an auxiliary police officer, but the offense led to his dismissal and reassignment to alternative service as a public worker.
The scandal resulted in his departure from BIGBANG. During this period, he engaged in heated debates with fans on social media and hinted at retiring from the entertainment industry.
“I wasn’t in a clear state of mind and shared my desire to give up on everything through social media,” he admitted. Reflecting on the dark moment when he attempted to end his life after his marijuana conviction, he said, “When I woke up, I realized the deep pain I had caused to the people I love. I was overwhelmed with shame and emptiness, but I know it was all my fault.”
“When the news caused an uproar, I thought I might be hurting this big production,” he said. “I couldn’t handle it and seriously thought about stepping down. But the director encouraged me to stay, saying he had worked hard to create this character and wanted me to see it through. His support gave me the courage to continue.”
T.O.P also addressed the mixed reactions to his acting. “I felt terrible, thinking I might have caused harm on such a huge project. I also felt guilty toward other actors who faced trouble because of me.”
Director Hwang Dong Hyuk took responsibility for the controversy, saying, “If I thought his acting was too much, I wouldn’t have approved it. Thanos is a character who pushes boundaries, and the strong reactions are a result of my creative decisions.”
T.O.P reflected on his life in recent years, saying, “For the past seven or eight years, I’ve lived in isolation, just going between my home and my music studio. I wasn’t working with a specific goal in mind, but through music, I started to rediscover myself and slowly found my way out of the darkness.”
He concluded, “I’ll spend the rest of my life reflecting on my mistakes and living with integrity.”
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